I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
