I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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