If i come over, it means nothing
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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