ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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