**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
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