All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
