just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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