You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Too much gin, very little bucket
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
