Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
