My first STD was from a foam party
"it" just moved
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
