legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
