My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
