Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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