so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Its about making memories worth repressing
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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