I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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