Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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