is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize