He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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