Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
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