So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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