i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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