chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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