I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
