It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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