i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
50% drunk capacity currently
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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