just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
