You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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