i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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