lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
