it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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