What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
