If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
