yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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