see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
