i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Randomize
