just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize