i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
