She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
