Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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