Joe is yelling at the trees again.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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