Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
