carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
