...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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