Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
