omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
