Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize