You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
