Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
