i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
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