would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize