Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
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