I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
