I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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