direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
