she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Randomize
