You're completely useless in the revolution.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Randomize
