there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
