You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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