..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize