If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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