So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
